Portland, OR
Boy have Meejpem and I been through a crazy ride throughout our five years together. It took us years to figure out what hurt our relationship the most and what helped our relationship thrive. To be honest, the hardest years for us were our first two years of dating: going through the process of getting to know each other, trying to work things out during our first small and big arguments and being exposed to each others flaws.
However, five years later, I can say that we still love one another just as much as we did since day one and somehow manage to never get tired of each other no matter how much time we spend together!
I know nowadays, it’s pretty hard finding genuine, long-lasting relationships. I want to help those who may be struggling to find a relationship that will last. These tips are most beneficial to those looking for a committed and serious relationship. No playing around here!
These tips can be applied to any sort of relationship whether it be with a friend, a family member or your significant other. However, I’m mainly focusing on relationships with a significant other. I’ll be sharing my 8 tips on what it takes to have a long-lasting relationship.
1. Communication
This is one thing I always stress most about when it comes to relationship advice. It’s so easy to get mixed signals and have miscommunication with your partner. Make sure you are talking with one another and expressing your true thoughts and feelings.
Communication is especially important when arguments come up. Arguments can stem from miscommunication so you always want to make sure you’re on the same page.
Meejpem and I have pretty good communication for the most-part. We always make sure to let each other know what we’re up to like where we’re going. For example, whenever Meejpem plans to go on a fishing trip with his friends or family, he always lets me know ahead of time instead of keeping it a secret or telling me last minute.
You also want to make sure you are being open with one another. That means no secrets. I’m so grateful that Meejpem and I are very open with each other. We’ve been pretty open with one another since the beginning of our relationship and it was all because of him. When we first dated, he came clean to me about everything in his past and because he was so open and honest about everything, it helped me open up to him too.
This leads to my next tip…
2. Honesty
You should always be honest about everything with your partner. Whether it’s about your thoughts on their bad habits, what you did during the day, what you think about their family, etc. Lying is not going to get you anywhere, trust me.
If you’re not honest and they find out the truth later on, they will eventually ask you, “why didn’t you tell me earlier?”. Then that’s when a whole lot of issues will come up.
3. Support and Appreciation
I feel like these two go hand-in-hand. It’s important to support and appreciate for your partner for all of their accomplishments and for everything they’ve done for you.
You don’t need to praise them but make sure you show your appreciation from time to time. If you don’t, overtime, your partner may feel like their actions and accomplishments go unnoticed.
4. Quality Time
Meejpem and I love spending quality time with just one another. When you’ve been dating for a long time, it’s easy to forget to spend time with each other. We never mind spending time with our family or friends but we also like to make sure we spend alone time too so we can focus on strengthening our relationship.
Our quality time allows us to love, appreciate and connect with one another whether that’s going out for a walk, going out for dinner, watching a movie, etc. As long as we are spending time together with each other, it helps us build a stronger bond and create memories.
5. Freedom
It’s so important to give your partner space to do hobbies or to hang out with their family and friends. Too much time together can make you go crazy unless you both don’t mind spending time with just each other.
Meejpem and I always spend time together so whenever we get the chance to hang out with friends or travel with family, we take it. It gives us both space and allows us to grow our relationships with other people in our lives instead of just with each other.
6. Sacrifice
When it comes to relationships, you have to sacrifice a lot of things. I’d say the biggest sacrifice you have to make is time. You have to sacrifice your time with friends, family and hobbies to make time for your partner. You don’t have to give all your time to this one person but if they’re an important person in your life and you want to have a future with this person, you must be willing to spend a good chunk of your time with this person. It’s to help you get to know this person in and out, build memories, and prove to them that they are a special person to you.
I also want to make it clear that BOTH partners have to make sacrifices. If one person sacrifices their time and the other doesn’t, it’s not going to work. This is not a one-sided relationship.
7. Similar Hobbies
It’s not required but think of it as a bonus! It makes it easy to find things to do and enjoy together. It also helps you bond faster. Having similar hobbies isn’t much of a problem if you’re open to trying new things. However, it can make it difficult to find something you both like to do and can cause conflict if you’re the type who only likes to do what you like. For example, if you’re an outdoor person but your partner is more of an indoor person, it might not work out. That doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world though. You can still work around those differences.
Meejpem and I are pretty open and willing to do whatever comes to our minds. As you can already tell, Meejpem loves to fish so whenever he tells me that we should go fishing, I agree to it. To be honest with you, I’m not a huge fan of fishing but if it allows me to create memories, bond with my partner and master at something I’m not good at, I’m usually up for it. Try to be adventurous when it comes to hobbies!
8. Problem-Solving
Here, I’m referring to when you have arguments. This is a huge contributor of if your relationship will last or not. If you’re having problems, you both have to be willing to solve the problem. You can’t be one-sided and you can’t be stubborn, storm off and expect your partner to fix the issue. It doesn’t work like that.
The solution definitely depends on the type of argument you have too. Like I said before, most arguments will stem from miscommunication or maybe even dishonesty. Don’t be stubborn and be willing to say “sorry” and find a solution for the problem with your partner. Easier said than done but it’ll definitely save your relationship in the long run.
I think many relationships fail because relationships portrayed on TV and in movies only show the good sides of relationships which convinces people to believe that relationships are perfect and just all about love. Then when people are faced with the reality of how hard it is to maintain a good relationship, I feel like people back out because it’s too much for them to handle. It’s not that easy. You really have to work for it if you want to make the relationship work.
Overall, relationships are complicated. No relationship is perfect and every relationship runs into all sorts of conflict from time to time. It’s all about how you overcome those things to build a stronger relationship.
